


Blinded by the Light

by orphan_account



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Community: kink_bingo, Dubious Consent, M/M, Mirrors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-14
Updated: 2010-06-14
Packaged: 2017-10-10 03:01:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/94742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kris is afraid to look at Adam directly, so he spies, using mirrors</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blinded by the Light

It starts in Hollywood Week. Kris watches Adam in the mirror of the dressing room. They've just met, and already Kris knows that Adam is someone extraordinary, a comet blazing through the skies, bright and deadly. He's afraid to look at the man in case he gets burned. He can't help himself though, so he makes sure he's out of Adam's sight line and watches while Adam fusses with his foundation. The mirror offers protection.

_It's only because there's no one like Adam in Arkansas,_ he thinks, trying to justify himself, although he knows that's not quite right. There's no one _like_ Adam at all, as though the universe somehow brought him out of its own essence.

Adam is friendly and open, and Kris wants to get over his issues, but he can't force himself to do it. He's pretty sure he's drifting into really weird territory, but he doesn't how to fix it. He's never had a problem relating to people before.

He mentions his difficulties to Katy during their weekly phone call. She doesn't call him a homophobe, for which he's grateful, because he's afraid that his inability to look directly at Adam says something nasty about his personality. Instead, she changes the subject to the wedding. Kris has a hard time thinking ahead to that. He doesn't feel like the same person who proposed to his girlfriend, and then tried out for American Idol the next day.

He what he hopes are appropriate noises about the whole thing, although he's finding he just doesn't really care. He's got too many other things to worry about at the moment. Katy doesn't seem to notice anything wrong with him, so Kris decides that his bizarre behavior must be all in his imagination.

&gt;&gt;&gt;&lt;&lt;&lt;

The move to the Idol mansion makes things worse. Kris is distressed to find that he's rooming with Adam, whom he still can't act normal around. However, Gokey and Sarver give him headaches, but Matt and Anoop are already inseparable, and Scott has other issues, so Kris supposes that Adam is the best option.

The bathroom has mirrors, so Kris feels safer. He can avoid looking at Adam most of the time. The mirrors remind him of some myth or other, about using a mirror to look at a beast that would otherwise turn you to stone. Medusa or somebody. So Kris figures that what he's doing is really just some long-buried racial memory. Not really all that weird. He's merely in touch with his primitive side. And Adam likes that mythological shit too, so he would totally approve and wouldn't think Kris is being insane.

Or, well, he would if Kris actually told Adam what he was thinking and didn't act like some demented stalker.

Kris discovers that unless Adam's actually using the toilet, he never shuts the bathroom door. Kris tells himself that he shouldn't look, shouldn't intrude on Adam's privacy, but he can't stop himself – Adam is an inescapable gravity well. He avoids looking at Adam other than in the mirror. He finds sightlines in their bedroom where he can watch.

Because only the two of them are in the room, unlike the dressing rooms, Kris has to be more discreet. Therefore, he sees Adam in parts, in shards of silvery glass caught at different angles.

From one angle, he learns that Adam man-scapes . . . from another, that his freckles go everywhere. Kris discovers that Adam has really long toes one day when Adam touches up his polish. Another day, he watches Adam pluck anxiously at his hairline revealing his light roots. Another time he gets a glimpse of the soft brown hair in Adam's armpits. Kris doesn't look at Adam directly, but builds his picture of his roommate from disparate pieces.

They move through the weeks, and Kris is sure that Adam has no idea that he's being observed so closely.

Unfortunately, Adam is neither unintelligent nor unobservant.

Kris has been indulging in his new favorite pastime, watching Adam through the shower curtain, which blurs his image enough that Kris feels he can forgo the use of the mirror. When the water shuts off, Kris hurriedly picks up this guitar, fingers falling naturally to the chords of 'Yesterday.'

Adam walks out of the shower, wearing nothing but a towel. He leans on the doorframe to the bathroom. "What the hell, Kris? What's with the gawking?"

Kris tries to look at him, he really does, but this time he's afraid of the disgust he might find in Adam's eyes. He sets the guitar to the side and stands up. He has to prove that he's not some creep; he has to get over this. He looks at the floor as he approaches Adam, stopping he sees Adam's painted toenails in his field of vision.

"It's just . . ." he starts.

"What, Kris?"

Adam's voice is so gentle, as though Kris might shatter, that something in Kris does break.

"I just want," he says, and his hands are moving without his permission, tugging at the fold of the towel and pulling it off Adam's hips.

Adam backs up, into the bathroom, trying to get away maybe, but Kris doesn't care. His fingers graze Adam's skin and he needs more. He looks up at the bathroom mirror, at Adam's long, lean body. Kris watches in the glass as his hand comes around and fastens around Adam's soft dick. Kris gives it a few tugs.

"Shit!" Adam squeaks, but then he groans when Kris runs his thumb over the head.

The column of flesh in his hand is rapidly hardening, and Kris can't tear his eyes away from the reflected sight. Adam isn't really talking anymore. Kris jacks him as best he can, but the angle is wrong and everything's backwards in the mirror. He suspects he's hurting Adam, who is grabbing the edge of the counter with whitened knuckles and his body is tense. Kris doesn't look at his face.

Adam hisses when Kris gives him a particularly awkward tug, and Kris mutters, "Sorry."

He cocks his wrist a little further, the angle hurting him now, but Adam relaxes a little. Kris speeds up his movements as he feels Adam's cock grow and pulse in his hand. Adam grunts and then jerks as he sprays all over Kris's hands and clothes. Kris doesn't have much time to react, when Adam grabs him by the collar and spins him around, smashing him into the wall.

"What the actual fuck, asshole?" Adam demands.

Kris is pinned to the wall with over six feet of naked and pissed off man holding him in place. His dick is rock hard. Kris thinks that maybe one thing relates to the other.

"Sorry, sorry," Kris says, not knowing what he can ever say to make up for being such a stalkery jerk.

Adam's free hand works the zipper of his jeans, tugging them down just enough to get his hand inside Kris's boxers. When he finds Kris's erection, he pulls on it harshly, fast ungentle strokes that have Kris exploding in a fury of conflicting sensations.

The big hands that turn him around handle him carefully. Adam lifts Kris's chin and says, "Look at me."

Kris trembles, wanting to use the mirror again, but he knows he can't, not this time, now that Adam knows his shameful secret. He stares at Adam's chin for a moment, and then his gaze drifts slowly past Adam's curved lips before he finally gathers his nerve enough to look into Adam's eyes.

What he finds there is placid blue showing none of the anger Kris expects. Adam's hand on his chin moves around to the back of his neck, cupping his nape.

"What's going on, Kris?" Adam asks. "Are you afraid to look at me?"

"Yeah," Kris answers, relieved that Adam understands.

"Why?"

"Because . . . because you're so bright, so beautiful. I'm afraid I might go blind. Or be turned to stone."

_Shit._ Kris really didn't mean to tell Adam that bit of insanity. But Adam only laughs softly.

"Oh, baby, you're beautiful too."

Adam bends down and kisses him, tongue demanding entry which Kris willingly gives him. Adam holds him securely and Kris snuggles in to his strong embrace.

After that, Kris stops using the mirrors, but he still can't take his eyes off of Adam.


End file.
